The Relationship Grid Assessment

Terry Real's
Relationship Grid Assessment
Reflect upon your behavior with your romantic partner. When responding, consider how strongly you identify with each statement when you are at your worst and most extreme.
I find myself calling my partner names in my head, but I don't say them out loud.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I am great at giving the silent treatment.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
People have told me I seem needy.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
My attempts to repair with my partner feel desperate.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I fear my partner will leave, so I do everything I can to keep them close.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I have often thought I have "thin skin".
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
When I don't feel good with my partner, it makes me anxious and I know I should figure out how to fix it right away.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I am argumentative and quick to anger.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
When my partner and I have a disagreement, I turn away or leave, shutting my partner down.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I have little patience or willingness for discussing my emotions.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I am clearly right, so what more is there to talk about?
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
Even when I don't feel depressed, I know I could at any moment.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I fear my opinions and feelings are not valuable or worthwhile, so I keep to myself.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I notice when things are hard, I speak harshly to myself.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I feel ashamed of myself and hide from my partner in embarrassment.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
When my partner and I have a disagreement, I get angry that they won't see reason.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I am unable to speak my truth.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I can easily slip into a depression and become withdrawn.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I express things vehemently, that's the only way I can make sure I am heard.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I don't want to apologize, I want my partner to repair with me.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
If only my partner would see it my way, we would get along fine!
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I insist my partner behaves a certain way--some might call it controlling.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
I lash out impulsively-- I can be aggressive and mean.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
My energy can feel frantic.
- A
  
  Never Identify
- B
  
  Rarely Identify
- C
  
  Occasionally Identify
- D
  
  Often Identify
- E
  
  Strongly Identify
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